I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
