Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
