He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
