Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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