I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
