You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
