as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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