Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
