I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
