And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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