So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
