a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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