I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
