You're my little dorito
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
