I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
