yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
