Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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