I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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