We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
