no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
