Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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