My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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