Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
