There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
