i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize