Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
