there's paper in my vomit.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
