Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there's paper in my vomit.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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