zippers are such a cool invention
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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