wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
