i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
