Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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