Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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