i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize