You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize