i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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