Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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