I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
