Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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