Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
