omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
