Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
