Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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