i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
