So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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