I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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