I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
