please come you make the beer taste better
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
