Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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(562): View more from California

not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

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(850): View more from Florida

Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

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(415): View more from California

What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum

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(671): View more from Guam

There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks

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