Betty ford says i'm here all night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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