Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
