yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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