The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
